The Second Sex.

So I did it. I went to see the Sex and the City movie. On opening night. If you know me, you know I have conflicted feelings about Sex and the City. On the one hand, it’s a hilarious satire of living life in your 20’s as acted out by women much older. Life becomes a focus of yourself, your friends, your clothes and who you’re sleeping with. My friends and I have talked about the things that Carrie and the girls voice concern over, and many other similar topics, such as what do you call out during sex if the guy you are dating has a terrible name? Serious business indeed.

On the other hand, Sex and the City has created a new breed of female misogynist, one who treats others like she does not wish to be treated, commoditizing herself through the men she sleeps with and the shoes she owns. As a life style, Sex and the City is not empowerment, it is not girl power. It’s fucking and being fucked, it’s excess, it’s looking for a lot of material and visceral pleasures to fill an emotional and spiritual void. It’s not learning about yourself… it’s almost vile. Girls parade around in overpriced shoes with hard heads, unexplored souls and hearts filled to the brim with hats and purses and dresses, and nary a meaningful relationship to support them. Of course, that is part of what makes the show so fun.

Taken in stride, and with a grain of salt, Sex and the City is what every girl wants to be. A fabulous life in New York, amazing clothes, a string of handsome lovers and our own fabulously decorated apartments. Loneliness aside, it’s the Disney Princess Story for big girls with a higher budget. As I walked home from the theatre with my roommate to our much cheaper apartment in a less fashionable part of town, in worn out shoes, a used jacket, in a dress I got for free, swinging the purse I picked up from the army navy store on my arm, my life felt very different than Carrie Bradshaw’s. However in many ways, it’s still the same, and there is something comforting about that, for me and every woman who watches the series. I’m allowed to want sex, and freedom, and high fashion. It’s ok to be that way. I don’t need to get married and have children. I don’t need to fit into any number of traditional roles. I just can’t let my life become an excessive emotional void, either.